Women Who Shattered Ceilings Share Lessons They’ve Learned

At the TIME Women of the Year Leadership Forum in Los Angeles on Tuesday, Amanda Nguyen, an astronaut and activist, said that many women in STEM experience gender-based violence.

“In my situation, I was dreaming of going to be an astronaut, and then I was assaulted,” said Nguyen, who was a 2022 TIME Woman of the Year. “When I found out that my evidence could be destroyed, I had to make a choice between my justice or my dreams of being an astronaut. At those crossroads, I put down my telescope, picked up a pen, and rewrote the law.”

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Nguyen—who started the nonprofit Rise, which supports survivors of sexual assault—helped write the Sexual Assault Survivors’ Rights Act, which reformed how sexual assault evidence-collection kits are handled and was signed into law by then-President Barack Obama in 2016. Now, she’s also about to be the first Vietnamese woman to go to space. And she’s planning on bringing something important with her.

“All astronauts have a zero-g indicator when we reach space; it’s a little something that floats. And mine is something very special to me,” Nguyen said. “When I left the hospital after my rape, I wrote a promise to myself: ‘Never, never, never give up.’ And so I taped that, and I looked at that note to help me graduate Harvard. I looked at it when I was fighting for my rights in Congress, in the United Nations, and I will be looking at it when I float over Earth.”

Nguyen—whose new memoir, Saving Five, comes out next week—was joined on stage Tuesday by two women who have also shattered ceilings: Nazanin Boniadi—an actor, producer, and activist who is a champion of the #WomanLifeFreedom uprising in Iran—and Carin Giuliante, chair and chief executive officer of Deloitte Tax LLP, who is the first woman to lead Deloitte’s tax business (Deloitte is a sponsor of the TIME Women of the Year Leadership Forum). Appearing on a panel moderated by TIME deputy editor Kelly Conniff, the women discussed diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) initiatives, in light of President Donald Trump’s recent attacks against efforts prioritizing DEI. Boniadi talked about the importance of representation, but also the dangers of tokenism.

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“Several years ago, I had the privilege and honor of being invited to become a member of the Motion Picture Academy, and I remember, I was with a dear male friend of mine, who happens to be a film director, and he said, ‘Well, it’s a great time for you: you’re a woman and you’re a woman of color.’ And I thought: that was a jab in my heart,” Boniadi said. “I felt like this was sort of a milestone, something that I should be proud of, and I realized it’s still looked at as a quota, checking a box.”

“I don’t like that feeling,” she continued. “DEI serves the purpose of leveling the playing field, as it should. And the backlash to that, of course, is, is it fair? But surely we can have an industry that is merit based, but also includes representation and diversity, and I think that’s what we should be working towards.”

Conniff asked Giuliante about working in a male-dominated space, and if she had any mentors who helped her along the way. Giuliante replied that she was “blessed” throughout her career, especially to have had a mentor named Ellen, who helped her through many moments—even unexpected ones.

“She was with me through thick and thin,” Giuliante said. “The day I went back to work [after 9/11], we were in a new office because our office had been destroyed. I went into labor unexpectedly at the office, and Ellen was even my labor and delivery coach.”

“That’s a real mentor, really just pounding the table for me throughout my career,” she continued. Giuliante talked about the importance of sponsors, as well as mentors. Sponsors who “speak on your behalf,” “amplify your voice,” and “pound the table for you” are critical for women to be “successful collectively,” she said.

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Boniadi also shared where she draws strength, courage, and motivation from: the women of Iran and their “everyday heroism.” “Mentorhsip comes in many different forms—sometimes it’s having conversations with people, women in Iran in particular, who, on a daily basis, risk their lives for a better tomorrow,” she said. “To me, they are my mentors; they’re teaching me every day.” 

Conniff ended the discussion by asking the panelists what the theme of their hypothetical masterclass would be. Giuliante encouraged everyone to “own your greatness,” and to help others do the same—”pull them up behind you, and we will all be collectively more successful,” she said. Boniadi emphasized the importance of leading with love and solutions-based advocacy, and advised that, “Sometimes you’re invited to the table; sometimes, you have to knock down the doors and get to the table.” And Nguyen said the best lesson on courage she’s ever gotten was from her mother, who is a boat refugee from Vietnam.

“She swam so I can fly, crossed the ocean so I can touch the sky,” Nguyen said. “She was caught in a tidal wave storm, and her boat was sinking. And during the storm, another big ship came and decided to rescue them, but they only threw one rope, and each refugee had to climb this rope in the storm. She said that if you let go, then the ocean would swallow you. She said the only way she was able to climb was by doing it one hand at a time—to not think of the entire rope, but just to have courage for the next, and the next, and the next.”

“The lesson from that is that you don’t have to have bravery and courage for your entire journey; you just need it for the next step, and the next step, and the next,” Nguyen said.

The Women of the Year Leadership Forum was presented by Amazon, Booking.com, Chase, Deloitte, the American Heart Association, and Toyota.